Saturday, 22 November 2014

The letter part three (edited)



It was Tom’s sixty ninth birthday and once again he creaked downstairs already knowing what was going to happen. He wasn’t sure if he could face putting on another faked smile for the people around him, and was more than likely not going to bother. To be honest, most of them only drive him mad now, and he really couldn’t care less about anyone else’s feelings. It had been another really bad night and he could feel an attack coming on, there was a pulling sensation that always told him it was going to start, a pulling feeling just underneath him, it would dart around back and forth before settling on a place just in the middle somewhere behind his bladder and then it would start.

Stab,
Stab,
Rip,
Tear,
Clench
Repeat.

It could last for hours, it could be seconds, but it was absolutely maddening. It would lie totally dormant and then attack just as he was going to pick something up or talk to someone. In his younger days he had tried to run away and hide from people when it happened, not wanting to have to go through the rigmarole of explaining that some people were just born to make people mad, and that he had been extra especially good at that. It just seemed like a vacuous cry for attention, another empty statement in these days of on-screen confessionals and cries for attention. No one would really listen to anything he was saying anyway, he could happily admit to having just murdered his next door neighbour, the only thing the Rick or Denise would do is to nod non-committally and carry on with the monologue they were having for their own benefit.

He shambled down the last remaining steps and tried hard to concentrate on the door, it didn’t always help, but sometimes it gave his body a few more minutes rest before… That.

Opening the door, the first thing he saw was Alice, and his mind immediately shot to just how attractive she was, he thought that instead of inviting a few crusty friends over they could have gone and had a quiet five minutes by the rose bushes in the back garden, but knew that it was more the thought than the probability that amused him. All of a sudden it amused him more than it should have and he started to laugh. He started to roar with laughter, doubling up, shaking and crying with the strain of the feeling exploding out of him.

The bewildered looks on the house guests supposedly there for a surprise party just got even more perplexed as they watched this gentleman of a certain age in hysterics for no apparent reason. Some just looked knowingly at each other, some tittered a little trying to get the joke that they were obviously being left out of, and the others felt deeply saddened by the sight before them. 

All of the onlookers came to the same conclusion as they saw the shakes change to sobbing pain.